Happiness and a sense of belonging eliminate the attentiveness that floods the room and is intoxicating. However, the only time this happens is when they want something. Pain grips, but the sense of feeling wanted warms. A sense of recognition and belonging rarely occurs, and then the question or gruff command presents. ‘Did you…? or I need you to…?’
Many would describe this as ‘being used’, especially in the Jamaican context. In this relationship, stimulation occurs when a need occurs. It is welcomed as the longing to be noticed looms. Without these moments, there is only silence, doubt, uncertainty, and stillness. This relationship lacks unconditional an ingredient that comes from friendship. I did not probe after that enlightenment as it whirled me into deep thought.
It is not the first time I have heard of a relationship built on the fulfillment of needs. It is my first time exposed to a relationship rooted in a needship. It is a fact that relationships that lack friendship never last, whether platonic or sexual. A needshio is one-sided and selfish. There is usually no compassion, no care, no love. It is empty. The level of trust, intimacy, communication, and commitment are wanting. And, even if it these existing they can ever be felt or seen based on their insignificance. I wrench and shake my head.
Why would anyone sustain a needship? My only conclusion is that love is on one side, or one exists waiting on the other to leap into the path of a relationship. Why would anyone consciously stay in a needship? Why would anyone remain on the axle of being used and waiting to be remembered for their service? What a sad and pitiful way to spend one’s time. We enter into a relationship for friendship, love, and all the other unconditional frills. A needship is availing oneself at the beck and call of a person. This is a sad and destitute way to seek acknowledgment to feel belong. Needship is empty, a convenience, this is not love, nor a healthy relationship.
This post is meant for reflection and deep conversation. #truthsandthoughts
Truths and Thoughts 