Have you ever been in a relationship where your spouse is propositioning sex even after it ended?
Have you ever been upset with your man/girl and sex is the fixer.
I spent past week mulling over ‘sex’ and why it is used as the glue to holding on, fixing and/or used as an excuse to remain in a bad relationship.
Many of my girlfriends have lauded their sex life and have even kept their broken relationship afloat through the support of sex. One of these many females shared that she knew that having sex with her man would mean that she would have a least one week of fun and laughter. This same girl complained that her man was not dating her; he was not calling her and he would rather spend time with his friends. I asked her what they did and when she and he were alone. She responded, he and I would have sex, or he would sleep we barely talked and if we did it turned into an argument. I have seen the couple out and trust you could cut the awkwardness with a knife. I have never seen them hug or cuddle as a couple. Hence, it is disheartening to hear her use sex as the clue when in my mind there is no relationship. A relationship requires friendship and a bond that goes way beyond sex. And, while sex contributes to bonding, it only lasts for a moment. A moment of passion which ends once both parties have climaxed.
I also spoke with another girlfriend who still is not willing to move on. She is still holding on to the past. She compared every man that she comes in contact with her man. Yes, I call him that because even though he has moved one, he still solicits sex from her and she yearns for the intimacy.
The emotional connection that these two women have is not the same for the man.
And, to comprehend, I spoke with a few of my male friends to ascertain how they viewed sex after the love had died. They all responded the same way “it is just sex”. They explained that it was easier for them to allow their exs to emotional let go while they had fun and while they quenched their sexual appetites. The ‘sex’ means nothing to them.
When in a relationship especially females need to be mindful that they do not remain in a never-ending shipwrecked relationship. As even with knowing the outcome they stay in a toxic relationship; the same way the captains on Titanic stayed even with knowing that the ship would have sunk. It is imperative that they face reality and accept that the relationship ended. It is never easy to accept rejection and admit that the person whom you loved, made sacrifices for and shared dreams and aspirations no longer want them. And, while sex does not rebuild a broken relationship if causes confusion and prevents the inevitable from happening.
It is complicated when you have already decided that he or she is it. Life is not predictable and people change and/or unveil themselves over time. Don’t let unhappiness become your new normal by being unwilling to let go. Leap you did once before life comes with no expectations us truly living.