The men…Silenced

I went to PriceMart today. I was in the line waiting to be cashed out. The lines were extremely long, and directly in front of me was a man with his woman. So, we reached the cashier. It was his turn.

Sir took everything out of his trolley. The cashier looked 👀 at me and muttered, “what is he doing?” We laughed out loud. The cashier told him to remove the oversized items from the conveyor.

Standing behind and so needing to leave PriceMart, as it was very crowded, and I had already been standing for 45 minutes. Plus, I realized this was his first time because regulars knew this rule. Further, the cashier was anxiously waiting.

So, I decided to assist him by explaining what items should stay in the trolley and what should be placed on the conveyor. The lady he was with was approaching as she had walked away earlier. He whispered something. It did not register at first but he repeated, “ don’t speak to me while she is here. You can talk to me when she is not here.” “Excuse me,” I said. Please note I do not know this man.

By then, I was annoyed. “Sir, you are being rude. You are not my type” I was simply assisting you.” By now, his lady was right next to him. My mom, who later explained that she did not hear what he had said, chimed in, “ don’t help him, leave him alone he is rude.” Did you know that he started having a whole conversation with my mother? I shut it down instantly.

Reflecting, I am no longer bothered. It’s sad to see men placing themselves so low that they have devalued their manhood to go to ‘farin’ or not having to or wanting to work. This ‘so-called’ new normal in Jamaica, where men believe that their role is to pretend to want a woman for gain, is sickening, and women who are financially supporting men; hence they now have the right to own and dictate when the man talks about what, to whom and where he goes; is disturbing.

This is not love, nor is it a romantic relationship. This kind of union is unhealthy and always ends bad. Very bad!

I hope that our men find themselves and become the providers and protectors that God designed them to be. And, to you women, being independent does not mean you have been armed with the right to belittle your men. Women were created to be nurturers.

Yes, I endorsed and respected an independent woman; after all, I am one, but let’s empower, not emasculate, our men.

Men, yes, women have owned their independence, but they expect you to work hard, support their dreams and aspirations while you own your manhood, and be the provider and protectors in the relationship.

Women, as you own your independence, be the lover and nurturer that your men know you are created to be.

Let’s harmonies. #truthsandthoughts

Network is your marketing tool

I had to share: A note to hold is that once you classify yourself as a professional, the simplest and most potent form of marketing ignites “word of mouth.” I believe that while you cannot be everywhere and meet everyone, your name (your brand) can be spoken in a space that makes you present and illuminates your relevance and worth that makes others need your Value (skills, knowledge, and experience) and seek after you—accepting that your reference transcends further than who you place on your resume.

#truthsandthoughts

Is it right or wrong to make people happy?

As 2023 comes to a close, life and its outcomes have placed me in a reflection. I have never been the girl who does things or thinks like everyone. I am not an overthinking or an overachiever. I have been labeled gothic, eclectic, likable, blunt, anal, go-getter, lover of justice, truth serum and a lover of people. All these descriptors have very different meanings. So, it is best to say that I am different.

It is no wonder when asked in an interview for a top-tier position what my best quality as a leader was my response was “seeing and making sure that the people around were happy”. Well, of course, I was not the successful candidate.

Perhaps my answer should have been more akin to being result-driven or making companies win by meeting their bottom line.

Yet in my estimation, as a leader happy people are those who produce the most and meet the objectives of any organization as they feel valued want to be at work, and are usually the persons who go beyond the call of duty being highly motivated because they feel respected and appreciated.

So was my answer wrong?

I am me, can be no other. I accept being different. I grew up with a father who stands for justice and believes that rules and laws are to be adhered to. Respect for people is a rite of passage in my home. My mother is a selfless giver and an advocate for those who are dubbed voiceless. Sharing is a daily practice and forgiveness is a family ritual.

Having these two people as my role models has placed me in an unsettling place for many because I do not think or act like them. My value system is different. Once I was told that my family is an anomaly.

I love having happy people around. So on the job, stakeholders need to be smiling no corners cut. Showing respect, and being polite irrespective of rank is paramount. Expressing and demonstrating decency is a right. Following rules and meeting deadlines is a requirement. These lead to productivity on all ends. Supporting a teammate whether it be through development or mere understanding because they are having a crisis is demonstrating humanness.

I will continue to carry that being unkind takes effort; any act of kindness is effortless. A smile, sharing pleasantries, providing a listening ear, and even using your network to do good is easy.

Yes, l agree with those reading that there will be moments that require separation, but even that can be done with decency. The act of engendering happiness is personal. Demonstrating decency is personal. Being just is personal. Humanness is personal.

So my answer is yes, it is right to choose to make people happy. It costs nothing to be kind. I am okay with being different. As my parents say, there is a place for you. It might just mean you are the one standing out! I have no issue with standing out to make a difference.

Is life a movie

Today is Saturday and as I daze I ask myself. Why could life not be like a movie? But isn’t it a movie? We often talk about walking into our destiny. Living our truth. This clearly means that there is some script. Is there an invisible script?

I reflect on where I am and how sometimes. I feel like am in a state of dé·jà vu. Am I the only one who feels like I either lived or predicted this experience? Was it scripted?

The truth is that if we believe in God and we take faith seriously, then the concept of a movie as life can be “God is the author and finisher of our faith”. So, HE writes, directs, produces, and publishes—an interesting and surreal thought.

Therefore, if we are actors/actresses in this movie called Life, it means that we have to show up prepared. It means that we must be resourced, look the part, sound it, know it, and be confident to play it as it is already craved out for us. Isn’t it? But how?

Like in the movie, life has plots that change and alter our course. Each day our episode comes with a lesson that brings tears, an eye-opener, joy, success or failure. Life is the movie categorized as a mystery trilogy.

I am still reflecting on life being a movie. It makes sense, right? A movie has a script, but in life, I walk without knowing. Strange, or is it?

#truthsandthoughts

@divaprofessor

Prayer of Thanksgiving

Dear Lord:

I am here walking without knowing, but I trust you, Lord.

You my God have never strayed me wrong. You have taken me beyond where I can take myself.

As you continue to guide my steps I thank you for giving me your wisdom, knowledge and understanding.

Thank you for your continued gift of revelation and discernment to propel me through the journey you have plotted for me.

I love you, Lord, and thank you for the good times and the bad, each serving different purposes in my life. Each provides me with the resources I need as I walk into my destiny.

Thank you, my loving Father.

Amen

If you won two free plane tickets, where would you go?

Dubai, my mom, and I would have a fantabulous time. It is one place on our bucket list!

My philosophical side (Part 1)

Life is a process of change. Life is cyclical. As leaders/workers we must embrace, that businesses/ideas/concepts/purposes are also cyclical.

As life rotates, each turn looks different and requires a different perspective to appreciate the new angles being projected and requires new ideas to keep it rotating. Hence, reality will reflect differently for each of us. However, if the focus is to survive, then it takes an acceptance of all in this version of life in our spaces to keep the axle turning.

Furthermore, if we have accepted evolution as a construct, we have embraced the formidable principle that change is inevitable and the forces often unpredictable ie COVID.

THEN: How agile are you? Do you have the grit to survive on this axle of change? How ready are you as the axle rotates? How willing are you to accept and embrace even the discomforts? Are you ready to play your role in the process of change? Remembering that life is change. #truthsandthoughts

Needship vs Friendship: What element is your Relationship?

Happiness and a sense of belonging eliminate the attentiveness that floods the room and is intoxicating. However, the only time this happens is when they want something. Pain grips, but the sense of feeling wanted warms. A sense of recognition and belonging rarely occurs, and then the question or gruff command presents. ‘Did you…? or I need you to…?’

Many would describe this as ‘being used’, especially in the Jamaican context. In this relationship, stimulation occurs when a need occurs. It is welcomed as the longing to be noticed looms. Without these moments, there is only silence, doubt, uncertainty, and stillness. This relationship lacks unconditional an ingredient that comes from friendship. I did not probe after that enlightenment as it whirled me into deep thought.

It is not the first time I have heard of a relationship built on the fulfillment of needs. It is my first time exposed to a relationship rooted in a needship. It is a fact that relationships that lack friendship never last, whether platonic or sexual. A needshio is one-sided and selfish. There is usually no compassion, no care, no love. It is empty. The level of trust, intimacy, communication, and commitment are wanting. And, even if it these existing they can ever be felt or seen based on their insignificance. I wrench and shake my head.

Why would anyone sustain a needship? My only conclusion is that love is on one side, or one exists waiting on the other to leap into the path of a relationship. Why would anyone consciously stay in a needship? Why would anyone remain on the axle of being used and waiting to be remembered for their service? What a sad and pitiful way to spend one’s time. We enter into a relationship for friendship, love, and all the other unconditional frills. A needship is availing oneself at the beck and call of a person. This is a sad and destitute way to seek acknowledgment to feel belong. Needship is empty, a convenience, this is not love, nor a healthy relationship.

This post is meant for reflection and deep conversation. #truthsandthoughts

Education… A life Investment

To walk into your purpose, you need to be prepared. Only being educated on your passion will leap you forward. Guaranteed an education is the greatest investment you can make.

Your Season…

Look 👀 at you. It’s your season. Delve step. It’s your season #truthsandthoughts

Don’t Regret… God is leading

Stand this is your season to shine.