Being lonely with you…

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There are so many couples who are lonely. Being in a relationship requires for sustained friendship and continued courtship. Yet many who profess to be in a relationship yet, in reality, they are living single together.

It is so easy for couples to drift apart if they don’t monitor their friendship through communication.  Many times we forget that needs are not static and that they can change with each passing day.  Hence, it is prudent to check in and never assume that all is well because nothing was said. Men usually assume that taking care of the financial needs of their partner equates to supporting of all needs. This is not so, the emotional and social needs must be nurtured as this necessities the greats efforts as they erode the fastest and are most vulnerable. Others equate sex to be socially and emotional support to their spouse.

Hence, one can be in a relationship, live in the same house and still feel alone.

Imagine with someone or being with someone and going days without talking.  Imagine going about returning home without any form of communication for days.  It is even harder for the person who is trying to keep the communication and the other is not reciprocating.  Let’s look at another scenario your partner converses with friends, gets ready and hits the road this happens for days. No Communication at all and the only time there is any form of conversation or emotional connection is during sex. The disconnect is evident as the act of sex happens without any intimacy.  The sex ends with both parties turning their backs and drifting off to sleep.

The emotional and social disconnect has affected their abilities to make love as the passion has died. The couple is together but is alone. They have lost the ability to connect as friends and neither knows how to rebuild this intimate connectedness. If neither work on communication, if the courting is not resumed;  the couple may be faced with the decision to end the relationship. We can always love each other but an intimate relationship requires for use to be consistently in-love with each other. Meaning, as a couple you must always want to be together, long for each other, need to communicate and share everything. The innocence of the relationship must never be tampered with.

Being alone in a relationship is the most hurtful and painful experience one can bear. It will leave you crying, making you angry as you feel helpless and it can erode your self-esteem, negatively. This loneliness can lead to paranoia. It can affect your performance at work and erode your other relationships.

Avoiding being together and being alone is, to be honest, keep talking. Be honest and try not to keep secrets especially about your feelings. Ladies, you don’t need to wait on an invitation from your man to go out on a date.  It is the 21st century you can date your man.  Men, it is important for you not to become complacent in your relationship and believe that you have her she needs reassurance, keep the courting going.

A relationship that works,   is one that is worked on every day.  Sustaining your relationship is a full-time job and a lifetime commitment.

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